Better the Second Time!

Today was the 2nd concert - same program as the previous concert on Monday night.

But this time, we played so much better! The acoustics in the venue were better, we fixed some of the problems from the first playing, and the Popper was way better! The whole program went very well - I think this concert was better than the previous one.

We could hear each other much better in this venue - that made a huge difference. I still had a few moments where my vibrato disappeared, but I felt so much more relaxed this time and had a lot more fun playing. It was sheer relief to finish and know that I won't have play the Popper again...for a long time.

My teacher came, with his family. He said that when his 6-year old daughter heard us start the Popper, she said, "I know that piece!" He said our ensemble playing sounded good - yay! My mother is visiting from California, and since she is 82 I'm not sure that she will want to travel here again any time soon. It was very special to have her listen (and I told her that it doesn't matter how old children get; moms have an obligation to attend their kid's performances ). Some of my friends came to listen - I love that! I think having them in the audience made me relax more; I like playing for friends and family because they're already biased and will give me the benefit of the doubt!

I'm so glad we decided to peform the Popper with the orchestra - my teacher was commenting when I left my lesson last night that over the past months as I've been getting ready to perform that my playing has improved a lot - the nice thing about a goal and deadline!

Now for the next deadline, the concert for the Dalai Lama - in 11 days!

Concert! First Popper Performance!

We played the Popper last night - first performance!

I don't remember the last time I had sweaty palms or the shakes before a performance...but I had both last night. But by the middle of the piece I felt a little more relaxed, and was feeling less of that out-of-body experience. I'm glad I had all of the hours of practice as a background because there were moments when I was playing on autopilot.

I've played it better in practice; in fact we've played it better in practice. I lost some of my vibrato during my solo bits, but we managed to stay together most of the time. My husband said that he could hear me over the orchestra, that was good!

The rest of the concert went very well. We played 3 of Dvorak's Slavonic Dances (#2,#3, & #4); Vaughn Williams' Norfolk Rhapsody; the Popper Requiem for 3 cellos; and Kallinikov Symphony No. 1. I was exhausted at the end of it...the Kallinikov is a very tiring piece to play.

I want to play the Popper better for our second concert on Saturday! But what a relief...my debut with the orchestra is done!

Playing Nice with Each Other: Not!

Popper rehearsal today: we are starting to sound pretty good when we're on our own; only 2 more rehearsals left with the orchestra before our concert. Playing with the orchestra is so different than playing with just the 3 of us. The first concert is in 3 weeks but I will be in the Bay Area all of that middle week, and will have to practice with the rental cello. I'm glad I have a week back on my cello prior to performing. It takes me a day to switch back to my cello.

I'm still trying to figure out why Cello1's advice rubs both me and Cello2 the wrong way. Her playing is incredible technically; she sounds great. I've learned a lot from her. Her advice is right - what she recommends does improve how we're playing the piece. We are definitely playing and sounding good because of her passion and insistence on how we should play. But there is something about the way she delivers the advice that sets me on edge (and from Cello2's comments after last week and this week's rehearsals, him too).

Today's advice to me was about vibrato. She kept showing me how my vibrato was wrong and then demonstrating how it "should" work. She also wanted me to time my vibrato so that I did 4 vibrations per 32nd note. Now, those of you who have been reading my previous posts may have read about my trials and tribulations with vibrato - I can barely keep my vibrato steady and keep it going through a long note, much less control how many I am doing per beat! We went through some of my bits a few times, with her correcting me every time (showing me what I was doing wrong and then demonstrating how to do it 'right' saying each time, see, it sings better this way or see, it sounds better when you do it this way). I was definitely trying, but...I really need some time on my own to practice. Cello2 got even more of a lesson, on bowing - she kept telling him that he wasn't bowing sections of his solos correctly, and she showed him how she thought they should be bowed (saying, see, this is how to make a beautiful sound) and then kept making him play it over and over again, even after he said, I'll practice it this way this week...

I know we're playing the piece better because of Cello1, but it has been so darn unpleasant. Neither he nor I have any desire to play an ensemble piece with Cello1 again. Ever.

Dances with Cello

Today we rehearsed the Popper Requiem, and the tip of the day was about moving with our cello. I tend to be rather stiff when I play, not freely moving around and dancing with my cello.

My attempts to dance with my cello are much like my attempts to dance in general: stiff, awkward, and rather uncomfortable. But when I loosened up a bit I could hear my tone singing in ways that it hasn't before.

So do you waltz, foxtrot, tango, rhumba, or just plain get down with your cello? This week I'm going to try to become a better dance partner with my cello!

Shake Shake Shake!

Last night I told my teacher about the 2nd rehearsal we had playing the Popper Requiem with the orchestra. We were all louder, and hopefully can get even louder. I felt like my volume compromised my tone, and my vibrato pretty much disappeared. For a long time I've had a problem with vibrato that I've known about - that I'll start a long note with vibrato, but then I'll stop doing vibrato before the note ends. Plus I haven't been happy with my vibrato anyway--it's always sounded a little tight and felt very uncomfortable. It's that pat your head and rub your tummy thing, I think. Now seemed like the perfect time to start fixing my vibrato problems!

So, we went back to something he had told me a while ago but finally clicked. Funny how many times this has happened during my cello journey (like we joke...everything we need to know about playing the cello is in Suzuki Book 1). He told me to concentrate on doing the vibrato from my arm, not my fingers, and to remember to keep my bow arm relaxed (as I've been working on for the last few weeks to get my volume up). Shake shake shake from the arm! And it worked...I could hear my tone warming up, and for the first time my vibrato looked, sounded, and felt pretty good.

I played the Popper during my lesson concentrating on vibrato...my vibrato got better but my bowing and timing went haywire...so I'm going to spend time this week trying to pull things back together and concentrate on shaking....from the arm.

meaning... practicing my F# minor scale with lots of vibrato. Today I started doing a shortened version of my shifting exercise but practicing doing a lot of vibrato as soon as I land the shifts...and everything I'm playing this week gets a lot of vibrato whether it requires it or not. I need to burn that shaking feeling in all sorts of positions on the fingerboard into my brain....the next thing that I want to become automatic!

Random Collection of Happy Things from this Week

--My mother has found a new place to live. She has been in her apartment for about 2 years, after selling the house she and my dad bought not long after they were married and where she lived for 50 years. When we were visiting over Christmas, we had the conversation with her about moving to a place with independent and assisted living...it was much easier than I thought it would be. I'm thankful that she's in good health, but cleaning, cooking, and climbing stairs is getting to be quite difficult for her. She started looking a few weeks ago, and found a place that looks like it will work out very well for her. What a relief. Once she gets dates, etc. we will have to figure out how to get down there to help her pack and move. I'm sure it won't be as traumatic as cleaning through 50 years of things, but I know it will be stressful for her nonetheless.

--A good Popper rehearsal today! I was playing much louder than before and the others liked it and wanted me to play even louder. I also got some tips on how to play my solo parts; need to practice what I learned today. Cello1 told us some stories of her cello journey; including having to overcome her grandfather's objection to girls putting a cello between their legs to some of the national-level competitions she won.

--A really fun end of Saturday chamber group. Piano trios again, with one cellist who doesn't come very frequently. She stayed afterwards so that we could play Scottish and Irish tunes from Renata Bratt's Celtic Grooves for 2 cellos. What fun!!! We alternated playing rhythm and melody on each tune. She started telling me about some of the groups in the area and promised to send links so I could figure out if I could actually make it to a session. She also told me about a week she spent in Canada, on a train, that was a musician's week - Alastair Fraser was on it and she said there were jam sessions in every car every night. Now that sounded like an amazing week...

Louder, part 2

I've been spending this week's practice concentrating on playing louder. At my lesson last night I told my teacher that while I was playing louder, I didn't feel very relaxed. So we spent the lesson working on loud, fast, and relaxed. I'm just playing the F# minor scale these days because of the Popper, so he had my play the scale progressively faster, but using a lot of bow. One point of this was to get me using lots of bow, be loud, but not worry about intonation. The other task was to use more bow at a higher volume and faster than my current comfort level. Also, he wanted me to disassociate my bowing from my right hand. It was actually harder at some of the middle speeds because I was still trying to hit the intonation. Oh, and I was supposed to be relaxed too. Oh, yes, use lots of bow on a consistent basis. Once it got too fast for me to hit the notes and I concentrated on my bowing, my tone actually seemed to get better. We also noticed that on the up bows I don't bite into the string enough when I switch directions so the bow has a tendency to slide across the string - something to work on fixing. Maybe one of these years I'll actually get notes, speed, and tone all at once!

The next exercise was even more useful. We pulled out the Popper and he had me play a passage. Then he said, ok, now we're going to have a conversation. Talk to me while you're playing; don't worry too much about rhythm and notes. What was amazing was that my right arm immediately relaxed, and my tone sounded much better. The parts that I know very well sounded fine, and if there was a part I didn't know very well, our conversation suffered (now it wasn't a deep philosophical discussion, just talking about my day) while my mind tried to think about what I was playing. After that I played through the whole Popper piece with that same relaxed feeling, and while I muffed up some sections, from a tonal standpoint it sounded the best that I've ever played it!

Now if I can only be that relaxed all of the time! I played this morning with our violinist, just the 2 of us, and we played through 3 B. Romberg violin/cello duets. It was really fun. Then she switched to the piano and we played through the Schubert Arpeggione sonata. I am planning to work on it next...it's one of my favorite pieces. My loud exercises are at least working...I can now easily play at a volume level over the piano (a year ago I couldn't play over the piano) but I know I wasn't relaxed enough since my right hand was sore after playing today. Loud AND relaxed....Loud AND relaxed....Loud AND relaxed!

Louder

I told my teacher last night about our first rehearsal with the orchestra. He asked me how it went. I told him that we all needed to get louder. So my lesson was mostly about how to play louder while staying relaxed. Easier said than done.

I have a bunch of new exercises to work on, to try to learn how to crank up my volume, stay relaxed, and not lose tone quality. There's no such thing as playing softly with an entire orchestra backing you up. My husband said that he can finally hear my cello all through the house now, over the TV and over a whole bunch of other things on. I told him that I need to be even LOUDER.

We had another false start with my Saturday chamber group. We thought we would have a string quartet. And I thought, hooray, finally I will get to play the cello! But, our violist couldn't make it again, and our second violinist comes late. So for quite a while it was just our first violinist and me. She brought Beethoven violin/piano sonatas so we read through #3 and #4. #4 is really nice - worth doing again. I love playing the sonatas because the piano is an equal partner with the violin. #3 and #4 had early opus numbers but were very clearly not Hadyn influenced--very much Beethoven's own voice. Lovely pieces. We started #5 (the "spring" sonata) when our second violinst showed up. I stayed on the piano while they played a Bach double violin concerto. Then our first violinst did an awesome job of being the viola while we played some string trios - one by Schubert, a few movements of a Mozart Divertmento, and a few movements of a Beethoven string trio. She had to sit out when the viola part got too low for the violin, and there were a few times when we had to stop while she figured out alto clef but it was sure nice to have a little time on the cello. My tone has improved a lot as well as my reading ability and it was fun to hear how much I've improved.

As they were leaving I asked how loud we were during the Popper. They both said that all of us needed to be louder....I think only the strings could hear us and that the brass couldn't hear us at all. I've got to figure out how to make my cello project more sound...

First Popper Rehearsal with Orchestra!

I wasn't expecting it, but last night we played the Popper Requiem with the full orchestra for the first time! The pre-rehearsal blog only had one entry, the Kallinikov Symphony #1 so I wasn't expecting to play the Popper and didn't bring my stand. My stand partner always brings his stand, so I've been lazy and never bother to bring mine. Since he's playing Cello 2, I had to borrow a stand for the Popper (at least I had my music!).

We faced the orchestra for this rehearsal so that the orchestra could hear what we were playing. Next time we'll face out as if we had an audience. Some of my observations:

1. I have to play louder! We did a bunch of runs through my solo part (more so that the orchestra could hear/practice their parts) and I was wondering how well my volume projected

2. We all have to play louder - but need someone to do a balance check on our volume together and with the orchestra

3. We cellists played together pretty much most of the time - no major gaffes - there are some bowing changes and volume changes we will need to make and of course we still need a lot of practice, but I think in general we sounded good. A lot of people came up after rehearsal to say that they liked hearing us and that they liked the piece.

4. I had fun! I wished I had played some parts better, but I know that my playing get better with more time/practice. Cello1 and Cello2 both said that they had performance nerves. I had some nervousness but midway through the first run I started thinking, This is so cool! Playing with an orchestra backing me up!!!!

I got used to playing for an audience during the 3 years that I spent playing the organ for my church..way back in high school...since then I've really enjoyed playing for an audience.

5. I really need to work on my solo bits and getting relaxed! Under stress I fall back to what I can do automatically and I don't have as many skills on "automatic" as I would like (many of those skills are what I wrote about in my previous post!) My playing quality rapidly deteriorates when I'm stressed out, nervous, or thinking too hard about some little detail..so I need to be loud and relaxed (and Sing! Sing!) I hope I'm not deluding myself into thinking my playing sounded better than what it really sounded like...

Random Practice Notes

These past few weeks I've heard some random (or maybe not so random) comments about my playing that have given me new things to think about and work on during my practice time...

...my bow hold
I'm continuing to work on thinking about my hand following my arm, and on the equal and opposite reaction (to counteract the problem I have with my hand sliding towards the tip of the bow)

...my bow speed
At my last lesson, I told my teacher that I wasn't happy with the way I was playing part of one of my solo bits on the Popper Requiem. This has a dotted eighth note followed by a sixteenth note, followed by a quarter note where I have to shift up to hit the quarter note. He watched me and said that I was speeding up my bowing when I was shifting. That darn right hand/left hand independence thing again! I've modified my shifting exercise this week to change the rhythm of the shifting but keeping the bow speed steady. Another skill to burn into my brain...

...controlling the rate of my vibrato
That was the other thing I told my teacher I wasn't happy about. It's the right hand/left hand independence thing again...and the overall coordination thing (you know, the pat your head and rub your stomach thing). Plus I can't seem to hold my bow speed steady and increase or decrease the rate of my vibrato. My right hand wants to speed up or slow down with my left hand. Sigh. Another set of exercises...

...starting a note
During our Popper rehearsal yesterday, Cello1 gave me a little lesson on starting a note...putting some pressure on the string and then getting it to vibrate immediately, but without the horrible scratching sounds that I sometimes make. My teacher has been saying the same thing...I think it's a skill that I can't do automatically yet...what happens when I start a note doesn't always feel like I have it under control, even though I am trying.

...and the previous week's Cello1 tip on bowing
She's been telling me, "Sing, Sing!!!" and finally told me to bow with a "Round bow, round bow! not straight...it's not natural!!" She showed me what she meant, and I've been practicing...and it's helped my overall tone. This week she told me that my solo parts sounded a lot better . I told her that I've been practicing round bows and she was really happy.

I finally figured out why she doesn't want to get coaching from my teacher...she believes that teachers are not useful to learning how to play well. I don't agree, but it did explain why she doesn't want to have my teacher listen to the 3 of us play the Popper.

Popper rehearsal notes
I think we have decided where we are bowing together and where we are not...we made some major bowing changes yesterday that improved the overall sound. Cello1 suggested fingering changes to both Cello2 and me on our parts; they were good suggestions but then she kept reminding us about the changes when we'd forget. Cello2 finally said, I need this coming week to practice the new fingerings and bowings...I'll have it changed by next week.

...And the Saturday Chamber Group
We were foiled again...Our second violinist is out with an injured finger. We thought our violist would make it but she wasn't able to and we were back to...piano trios. I love piano trios but am really looking forward to another configuration..plus we thought we would be able to play piano quartets or string trios and I have a piano quartet by Arthur Foote that I really wanted to play...maybe next week. I was looking forward to playing the cello but ended up on the piano. We played a Frederick Gernsheim piano trio (can't remember the opus...it just was loaded to the Eastman School of Music site) and it had a really hard first movement (rhythmically hard) but was really nice overall. Then we switched to Beethoven and played Trios #5 and #8. #8 was fun because it was a set of 10 variations.

...and the Brahms Piano quintet
I'm still working on it...playing bits and pieces of it when I can find time to practice the piano. I've been using a method that I read about from a link on Gottagopractice's blog - a flexible tempo - to learn the music - it really works. I've found that the sections that I've played through very slowly but concentrating on learning the music really well, that I'm able to speed it up much more quickly and accurately. I still only have small sections that I can play at speed, but more and more of each movement is starting to come together.

...and orchestra rehearsal tonight!
I missed last week's rehearsal; the first of this cycle...it was snowing so hard last week that I decided to drive home rather than stay at rehearsal. I even postponed my trip to the Bay Area for a day from Tuesday to Wednesday because I figured that it would be really icy...and for once I got lucky with the travel gods because the San Jose airport was closed Tuesday morning and I didn't have to deal with it!

Popper practice

Since orchestera was still on break Monday night, we got together to practice the Popper Requiem. Now that our dates to play it with the orchestra are set, for the next series of concerts at the end of March and beginning of April, we know we need to practice regularly.

It was a productive session, with good progress and a lot more that we need to make to be concert-ready. We played through it multiple times, and spent a little bit of time starting to discuss bowings, entrances, endings, and ensemble-related things. There are some things that you can't practice alone. I definitely need to work on playing out on my solo bits. I was really happy that I played my sections with 32nd notes pretty well (the piece is in a slow 3/8 but the shifting on the 32nd passages is very tricky). Cello2 and I really need to practice the bit where we're together on a run of 32nd notes. We were together rhythmically most of the time, but we need to work on our intonation while playing together. The piece is in F# minor, and since I'm cello 3 I play a lot of F sharps on the C string. I am still having trouble with the intonation of the F sharp. Many times I come in after the others are playing and tuning it to them is really hard. But all in all, for a first rehearsal it went well.

There were 2 weird incidents during practice. I've written about Cello1 in another post, about Cello1 absolutelty having to play the first part (of course she's playing cello 1 for the Popper!). She also has very definite ideas about how the piece should be played...she spent time correcting Cello2 and my fingerings and bowings, which wasn't a bad thing. I appreciate her passion about playing the music, but on the other hand, she won't really listen to our ideas about how sections should be played.

Weird incident #1: The last phrase has Cello1 and Cello2 playing a figure together that goes "daaaaa..da.dummmmmmm". I simply play "daaaaaaaa.dummmmmmm". The "daaaaa..da" is written as one beat long and the "dummmmm" is held until we stop playing. We spent a lot of time arguing about the rallentando at the end. Cello1 kept playing the "daaaaa..da" 2 beats long during every run through. The first time we all did different things. The second time Cello2 and I listened and we followed her lead. Later, Cello2 said, well, there should be a rallentando at the end of the piece but I don't think it should be 2 beats long...we've followed you and stayed together which the most important thing, but I think 2 beats is too long, especially since there is no 'rit' written in. Cello1: Oh no, it has to slow down like that. 1 beat is too short. I'm playing it right! Her attitude the whole time: "my way or the highway" Cello2 and I finally just said, Ok, we don't agree but we at least have to do it the same way every single time and let our conductor know how we're playing it because the orchestra has to follow us and we need to be consistent.

Weird incident #2: My teacher recorded all of the parts for us as practice files - 1 version with all 3 parts, and versions missing a part (1 and 2 only, 2 and 3 only, 1 and 3 only) so that we could have practice files. I also asked him if we could take one of my lessons as a coaching session, which he agreed to do. Cello2 has been enthusiastic about having him coach us. So, at the end of our session, when we were trying to set up future practice times, I said, We need to pick a Friday night some time to have a coaching session with my teacher. Cello1: Oh no, I don't want to do that. Cello2 and me: Flabbergasted. A little more discussion. Cello1: No, we don't need a coach. All we need is the conductor. (who, by the way, is not a string player). No budging from this position. Needless to say, at this point I don't think we're having a coaching session. Maybe I'll take Cello2 with me for one lesson and the 2 of us can get coached together.

Cello1 is an excellent cellist, and I have learned a lot from playing with her, and most of the time it's pleasant. However, I am finding these behaviors really disturbing. I think that if we actually make it to the concert without killing each other we'll be doing very well. I also think that I won't be trying to play with her again if I can help it!

the last amusing note - figuring out why we haven't practiced together much prior to this (besides the feeling like, oh yeah, it's so far away...which we don't feel now). We went through every week night. Monday night is orchestra, and we've tried to practice before rehearsal but it hasn't worked well, and I don't want to rehearse after because I leave on the first flight on Tuesday mornings and already don't get much sleep....which cut out Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the days that I'm gone nearly every week. Thursday nights Cello1 has rehearsal with her other orchestra. Friday night is my cello lesson. I don't remember when Cello2 has his harp lesson. That left Saturday and Sunday. Cello2 and I looked at each other and I said, either we (Cello2 and me) don't play on Saturdays or I don't play with my Sunday chamber group. Cello2 said, waaa, I want to play on Saturdays! Anyway, it looks like I'm going to take a short break from my Sunday group. No wonder we haven't practiced much together!